A PINBALL HOMAGE FOR MR. MANLY

pinballdaveh

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you have been waiting all year and its finally here. the pinball players expo is in town. so you put on your autographed ive got balls t shirt and start driving to the expo. you are sure you will be the envy of all when you pull into parking lot with the who's tommy playing loudly out of your 8 track sound system that only plays out of the left speaker. while in line you talk to all your pinball buddies about your manly pinball high scores and the sex lives of farm animals. once inside you spend hours of manly fun playing the machines that you remember in your youth. you decide you want to check out the vendor areas and you see the new machine that you heard so much about and want to play. as you almost get to the machine a large fat women cuts in front of you and starts playing. you almost want to hyper-vomit as you see all her fat wiggle as she nudges the machine. her game is finally over and you think its your turn to play but no, she plays another game and another. you want to let this pinball playing porker know how you feel about your waiting, but how do you accomplish this in a manly manner. follow along in your manly manual and repeat after me. #1 hoo e mama thats the biggest set of bumpers ive ever seen. #2 hey earthshaker ive got some multi-ball action for you RIGHT HEERE. #3 hey lady you know that you and this machine have something in common you both are a widebody. use any of these three phrases in just such a situation and seconds later you feel like you are playing pinball like tommy because your eyeballs have been slapped out and replaced with pinballs the large fat women will have no doubts as to what kind of man you really are. this is mr. manly saying BE MANLY AND GOOD DAY!!!
 
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(1) Only the left speaker.
1: Is the right speaker shot?
2: Are the wires secured, or did the dog find "a new chew toy"?
3: Is the right channel of the amp properly connected, or fried to a golden brown?
4: Could it be old gooey potentiometers? Cracked switches? First gen slide pots?
5: Is the 8-Track Tape Head properly misaligned?

And as for a Manly way to suggest moving on, I always use the Manly place coin or token on the machine to claim the next game (after she runs out of earned Replays, of course). This may not work on a "Free Play" setup, but I would do it anyway, to give her a clue. Next best is to ask if you can join in as a multiplayer.

You know, there was a guy who used to show up at The Mar Vista Bowl. This was a 24 hr. center that was also a major arcade test center for Betson Pacific on the West Coast. He looked like Robbin Williams' brother (if he had one, of course), and he always brought along his poodle, holding the little doggie while trying the new pinball machines. He turned out to be a chain operator and he was trying the games for possible purchase or consignment.

As for Robbin Williams, after my Hollywood hazing started in 1978, one day I went to get a Precision Haircut by appointment (remember those?) and he gave me the cut in Venice, Ca., though he claimed that his name was "Dexter".
 
thanks for sharing that, brother. and you know what they say... "suffering builds character."
 
Oh no. I'm not ready for that damned closet door.
 
Imagine the sweat and KFC grease you're gonna have to wipe off those flipper buttons!
 
You've been playing downtown arcades. Like old Los Angeles, on Broadway.
I fell into one of those once. I played Congo.
I got Pink Eye, and I will never forget the smarm on my hands from those flipper buttons and the lockbar. But it was almost shiny.
 
i posted my manly man story on pinside to see what kind of responce i would get. it lasted 1 day before it was removed. i guess they felt it was too offensive. while it was up i got some crazy responces, like what and saying about using meth. i think the moderator is a women so there you go. needless to say that i dont spend much time on that site and will spend less time now. they even complain about machine backglasses that show bra-less girls ex. bon voyage.
 
I can't make sense of them, but the pickier sites tend to be commercial-for-profit sites.
Do they sell parts or depend on their website for income?

And I am a firm believer in the principle, that shitty-clean family-friendly arcades have been the ruination of gaming. We don't need a day care center at Midnight.
 
here is someone that took my manly pinball advice.
 

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We who are civil, and who wait patiently, often for hours, for a turn at the game.
We thank you.
 
i dont think mr. manly would stand in line behind a bunch of flit-boys to wait to play that machine.
 
they even complain about machine backglasses that show bra-less girls ex. bon voyage.

That's like complaining about the stars on the Stars and Stripes. Let them fuck up pinball for someone else. Not the manly men here at PN. Not that we wouldn't like a lady popping in here every now and again! Some of us haven't talked to one in years, outside of court-appointed psychiatrists!
 
That's like complaining about the stars on the Stars and Stripes. Let them fuck up pinball for someone else. Not the manly men here at PN. Not that we wouldn't like a lady popping in here every now and again! Some of us haven't talked to one in years, outside of court-appointed psychiatrists!
This was one of my favorite posts because it had the most sleepy responses.
 
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