Another new joke thread

Subject: Math Teacher Arrested...

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later
discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested
trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a
protractor, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning
press conference, the U. S. Attorney General disclosed that
he believes the man to be a member of the notorious al-gebra
movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying
weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," he declared. "They seek
average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go
off on tangents in search of absolute value. They use
secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves
as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a
common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to argue, there are three sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, the President stated,
"If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math
instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.
I am gratified that our government has shown us a sine that
it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs, who are
willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky
statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of
influence. Under the circumferences, we must differentiate
their root, make our point, and draw the line."

The President warned, "These weapons of math instruction
have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a
scalene never before seen, unless we become exponents of a
Higher Power and begin to factor in random facts of
vertex."

The Attorney General concluded, "As our Great Leader would
say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertain
of: though they continue to multiply, their days are
numbered as the hypotenuse tightens."
 
Two elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done, when
>in walked a young chick with a low-cut blouse that revealed a beautiful
>rose tattooed on one boob.
>
>One woman leaned over to the other and said, "Poor thing. She doesn't know
>it, but in 50 years she'll have a long-stemmed rose in a hanging basket.
 
Hey Jokesters,

Pinball Nirvana has had a joke module activated for awhile, I haven't published the link because some of them were offensive to me, i deleted a bunch of racist jokes that i can't tolerate and deleted a pre configured category of them. The jokes were packaged in a database that has a bunch of them, many had to be manualy flagged in the Adult category. We could start with a new db of jokes but all of the existing ones would be gone.... :batman:

http://www.pinballnirvana.com/index.php?module=PNJokes
A blonde says to a brunette, ''Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt.''

The brunette says, ''Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup.''
------------------

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side.
The doctor examined her and said, ''You have acute appendicitis.''

The blond yelled at the doctor...
''I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!!''
------------------

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.
The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun.

So he told her all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.

After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.

"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."

"Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"
 
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