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Dear Mr Wanker

tiltjlp

PN co-founder
Well, since Shadow won't get of her/his/its butt and send an e-mail apology to Mr Wanker, I have written one which she/he/it can send to the Lord Of Proper Behavior.

Dear Mr Wanker,

First off, allow me to offer my sincere apologies for my horrible attitude and deportment at VPF. I appreciate you openng my eyes to the error of my ways. In the future, I will try to behave as if I have a four foot 2 by 4 stuck up my bung hole, just like you. Now, are you really as pure and perfect as you try to act at VPF, or are you simply putting up a front, you Kangeroo fucking Aussie?

Don't get me wrong, I love you just like your God says I should, but I don't think he requires us to be angles all the time. We might be permitted to have some fun, which is all I try to do. So if you aren't the saint that you'd like everyone to believe you are, you bastard, why not come over the Pinball Nivana's Shadow's Friggin' Funhouse and tell us your cock and bull story. I might even slink on over and arouse more than your curiousity, big fella.

With heart-felt passion, I'm always yours for the taking,

Shadow . . . saving myself for you, Mr Wanker

Now the odds are he won't respond, but if he does, I'll bet it'll be a side splitting laugh riot. So Shadow, do you have the balls [oops] to mail that to you heart throb?

John
 

bob

Add-a-ball specialist
Site Supporters
I think Leon has mentioned that he is an athiest... Did I ever mention that I like Leon, you know Leon is one of the constants in this world. I know exactly how Leon will react, he never wavers from his position. In real life, it would be very easy to get along with Leon.
 

tiltjlp

PN co-founder
Outside of when he goes off on one of his self rightious detours of his, he does seem like a decent kind of fellow. I wasn't aware that he was an athiest, which I think is an impossibility. How can you, or why would you, deny the existence of something or someone you don't believe exists to begin with. The only thing that irritates me with him is his blind defense of everything VPF. Whenever anyone says anything that isn't 110% pro VPF, he goes off the deep end. My fake e-mail for Shadow to send him isn't meant to mock him, simply to get a response. If he were to lighten up a bit, he might be a fun person.

John
 

PacDude

Pinball Wizard
I don't understand atheism. It's pretty darn clear we're constructed with genetic programming (DNA) which is very specific and controlling for all life forms as to how they appear and what does what (it can't POSSIBLY be RANDOM like they claim). Matter itself seems to be constructed mostly of empty space (the closer you look, the less there is to see). Yes, it's pretty darn obvious we're inside a computer. Society even gives us clues that we are in films like The Matrix that glaringly point it right out to us. Bible Code is supposedly fake because you can find code in novels like Moby Dick also and that supposedy indicates no divine providence, yet if this is a computer and God is the programmer it makes perfect sense, particularly if not everyone here is a player character (to borrow a term from D&D). Actually, I'm convinced most of you are probably not real. I'm probably strapped into an inteface somewhere to the this Universal Computer Simulation (UCS for short) and it's basically just a training program for new beings so they know to handle the real world without the pain of child rearing in that world. :twisted:

Atheists are just another part of that program, which basically is designed to provoke strong reactions (other things GUIDE you and you're supposed to LEARN from it all) with everything happening around you from seeming unfair things like random lethal weather, accidents, serial murderers, etc. that you can't possibly control to obvous contradictions in the Old Testament of The Bible which drives some of us nuts that have actually READ it. Others just accept they're too stupid to think and just go to church and eat their wafer and sing their songs and do whatever the preacher tells them to (like whom to vote for), oblivous to any discrepencies in doctrine or their own seemingly inability to reason, which is also programmed into their own behavior since most of them aren't real either, but rather just more programs in the computer (think Tron when I say "Program"). So who you calling a Program, Program?

End of Line
 

StevOz

Administrator
Staff member
Site Supporters
I will disagree with you here PacDude, for your theory assumes we, the universe and everything is not of God, that God exsists outside of his creation.

This is clearly wrong as any creation carries the mark of its maker and becomes part of his being.

Just as the humans created that which created the matrix which was dependant on the humans for their exsistence. God is dependant on us for his continued developement, we are his senses, awareness and knowledge in this part of his being.

The beginnings of immortality.
 

panda55

Pinball Wizard
When it comes to religion I have a pretty simple outlook on it.

1. If you are religious and your happy, then thats good - for you. Just don't force it down my throat, or anyone elses for that matter.

2. If you are an athiest or anti religion and your happy, then thats good - but don't take it out on me or those that believe otherwise.

3. If you are a religious zealot and would like to kill, mame and destroy another person (or structure) from another religion using any method but normally sucide bombs which can take out non specific 'targets' - do the world a favour and do the suicide first then try doing the bombing.

4. If you are like me you believe you get born, you live and you die. [ The general idea is to make the middle bit as enjoyable as possible whilst not impinging on others rights, wants or beliefs - and maybe enriching others life experience a little if you are able. ]

5. If there is an afterlife I'm going to look a little silly, but it wouldn't be the first time, and obviously (if that's the case) it wouldn't be the last.

But really - who gives a flying fuck anyhoo
sf3.gif
 

Shadow

AKA Nicky Special
tiltjlp said:
Well, since Shadow won't get of her/his/its butt and send an e-mail apology to Mr Wanker, I have written one which she/he/it can send to the Lord Of Proper Behavior.


I am - at this precise instant - standing on my head in a bucket of dog turds.

The stench is fucking ripe . . .I've now started to head-slide around in my own vomit . . .and I think I've caught that unpronounceable disease that you get around cat shit . . .but . . .

. . .it's a small price to pay if I don't have to send that cunt an apology !!

He's not all THAT bad, y'know . . . :help: :help:
 

PacDude

Pinball Wizard
I dunno Steve. Maybe God's dreaming right now and we're the dream and when He wakes up, that's it. :D

I'm not sure why you think God can't exist outside of His Creation, though. The fact Jesus is referred to as The Word in The Bible and all Creation was created through The Word, it sure sounds like a book/computer program type analogy to me given there.
 

tiltjlp

PN co-founder
I hardly know where to start. First off, Panda, I guess you're not the twit I thought you were. I love you idea of those weirdos doing thr suicide first, and then the killing of innocent people.

And now Dude, lately you've been making sense, but to think that you actually buy into this whole jesus thing. Not saying that a holy man named jesus didn't exist, or that he was crucified, but as for the bible, yeah, as literature it's an interesting and at times exciting read, but devinely inspired? I don't buy it for a minute, and yes, I not only believew in a God, I am also fairly spiritually minded. But I will never be seen in a church of any sort.

Faith, spirituality, and religion are three distinct factors, the first is sometimes hard to maintain, the second is worth striving to attain, and the third, I believe, is at the root of most of life's and societies problems. Religious right wing fanatics tend to be the most pompous and self-rightious bunch of misguided hypocrites known to mankind. Sure, no doubt some are sincere, but it's out of fear that has been falsely infused by ministers and TV bible thumpers.

I can't imagine anyone who believes that God is truely the Almighty and as powereful as that indicates would spend every moment of his or her time worrying about us humans. If he was really paying any attention to us, he would have blown this hell hole of a planet away eons ago. But there is an out, and it's rather simple in its design.

"Reality is whatever you preceive it to be." That short seven word sentence holds our salvation, not some folk lore tale wriiten back when affluent families all had a camel. Quite simply, if you live the life that you sincerely believe you should, then you have nothing to fear, other than the BS caused by society/Bush/Husain/Osama/the guy up the street/etc/etc/etc.

I could be wrong, but I think Panda is closer to my reality than any do-good bible reading zealot ever will be.

John
 

PacDude

Pinball Wizard
Well, if we (some of us anyway) were actually God's children and given all children must learn and grow up, I don't think God would either take no interest in Earth or blow us all up. Children make mistakes and the best way to learn from making mistakes is to make them and then learn from them. Why should it be any different with us? 80 years isn't much time to grow up when you really think about it. One thing I HAVE learned with my time here is that even the oldest of men are about as wise as a flea on the back of a dog. :twisted:

We're all just a bunch of little kids. Some kids in this world don't play nice....
 

bob

Add-a-ball specialist
Site Supporters
I think it's blasphemis to talk about god and religion in a forum called "Shadow's Friggin' Funhouse" :bom:

Let's see... The topic is Wanker. I did notice that for some reason he has a hard-on for StevOz, I mean he goes out of his way to get a dig in. Why is that Steve? You are both Ozzie's! BTW, what the hell does Oz have to do with Australia anyway? My geography sucks, in sixth grade I didn't give a shit about learning anything concerning the rest of the world, I just wanted to fasten mirrors on my Penny Loafers to see up the girl's dresses. :blahblah:

Damn, there's a bunch of smilies here... :suicide: :userfriendly: :rasta:
 

tiltjlp

PN co-founder
I don't know Bob, I think anything should go here. Besides, whenever I hear or read "What would jesus do? I always picture him playing an early EM table, maybe a Lady Robin Hood, and fussing and fuming over those odd flipper placements. Because pinball is heavenly to me, so I figure it should be to everyone.

Although in actuality, What jesus would probably do would be to take a nap, since he'd be pretty dang old. And yes, I do belive that if there is a god he or she has a wonderful sense of irony, if not humor. Because if he did make us in "his image and likeness" he ain't much to write home about him or herself.

As for those Aussies, so far I don't think I've met one in VP that I haven't really liked. But I have to wonder about them ever since I heard they like scrambled eggs on pizza.

John
 

StevOz

Administrator
Staff member
Site Supporters
Pacdude said:
I dunno Steve. Maybe God's dreaming right now and we're the dream and when He wakes up, that's it. :D

I dunno Pacdude, my dreams are a part of me and of us and they often recur.... :wink:
 

StevOz

Administrator
Staff member
Site Supporters
bob said:
I think it's blasphemis to talk about god and religion in a forum called "Shadow's Friggin' Funhouse" :bom:

Let's see... The topic is Wanker. I did notice that for some reason he has a hard-on for StevOz, I mean he goes out of his way to get a dig in. Why is that Steve? You are both Ozzie's! BTW, what the hell does Oz have to do with Australia anyway? My geography sucks, in sixth grade I didn't give a shit about learning anything concerning the rest of the world, I just wanted to fasten mirrors on my Penny Loafers to see up the girl's dresses. :blahblah:

Damn, there's a bunch of smilies here... :suicide: :userfriendly: :rasta:

Let's see, do you really believe God could give a flying frogs shit as to what occurs here, blaspheremy?...now if I were all powerful all seeing, then I would be beyond such trite.

Ah....da Wanker, no ideas really as to his affection for me, I can only guess..theories include he is right wing, hates boat rockers, those that think beyond the 'circle'....strueth he likes PD just as much, recall those VPFF threads, anyhows ney bothers me, I'll respond to his witt and charms with the same affection, though with my own panache and reason.

As for Oz, it's just slang shorthand for Australia, nothing to do with Kansas or Toto. :p
 

bob

Add-a-ball specialist
Site Supporters
I meant Blasphemy to SHADOW!! This is suppose to be a wild and crazy forum and you guys are preaching and giving a sermon!! Fer Christ's sake, this is a revoltin' developement
 

StevOz

Administrator
Staff member
Site Supporters
AH ya god fearing heathen, let me rattle ya up something to ya liking then...*click*...na pron...*click* na religion..*click*...na politcs.....ummmm....

How about some really inane Flash....

1 piece of Crap! (645K)

:)
 

tiltjlp

PN co-founder
Now the joint is surely headed to hell in a dingy, what with Prince Flash Of Oz pulling out the stops. And I wonder if one of us might have done somthing to offend our Drag Queen, or is that Queen of Drag? Mr Lizzie hasn't been stopping by much lately.

BTW, a question for you odd duck sorts in the UK and The Land Of Oz. A bloke is a guy, right? So what is a gal, a blokette? And are you all fruity, or just seem that way.

John
 

panda55

Pinball Wizard
John asked... ' BTW, a question for you odd duck sorts in the UK and The Land Of Oz. A bloke is a guy, right? So what is a gal, a blokette? And are you all fruity, or just seem that way.'

As far as I know we don't call gals anything. If they want something, they can call us, right. :p If we want something from them then that's different. They should know want we want and just get it - pronto. :x

Of course that's all macho bullshit above but I just wanted to say it while the wife wasn't looking. Muhaahahah :!:

Here in Oz (Aus.) we used to call them sheila's, but it's one of those terms that seem to have disappeared along the way.

We also called them birds for a while in the 60' and 70's. Chicks was the rage in the late 70's and 80's.

By then I was married and I couldn't call them anything anymore !!!!

By the way another word for a bloke was 'cobber' (mainly if he was a mate - friend - though). Oh, and then there was 'You useless cunt' if he was real good mate.

As for the Pom's, I wouldn't know. And I couldn't print what we used call them out here. :p
 

StevOz

Administrator
Staff member
Site Supporters
Yeah now a daze Panda just calls her the "handbrake"....pulls him up when he gets out of line. :)

btw bluey....wtf happen to ya web page was looking for it for some of those nice texture pics ya had.
 

tiltjlp

PN co-founder
It's amazing how American, British, and Aussie English can seem like three different languages sometimes, though British and Aussie do share a lot of oddities. It's a crying shame that you two third- rate countries could take such a noble tongue like American English and twist it into something hardly worth uttering.

Seems like every other word out of your mouths is Blimey or Corker or some such Rubbish. And what's with all this Pip Pip and Cherrio, do you have cold breakfast cereal on the brain? You all sound like a bunch of sissies, and your judges wear wigs, now I'm really wondering about that. I do like some things British, such as English muffins, and fish and chips, but most of your food doesn't even sound worth eating. Bubble & squeak? no thanks, I had a big lunch.

Now, I know the good old US of A is far from perfect. but we eat normal food, and we talk like we know something, although in actuality we don't. But first impressions mean a lot, so I'm rather seem like an American cowboy to the world than a fog-addeled limp-wrist hip swisher.

Have a good day mate . . . John
 

StevOz

Administrator
Staff member
Site Supporters
Others call it colourful (notice the correct spelling of the word colour) language.

You septic tanks (yanks) eat "normal food" perhaps though, abnormal amounts of the stuff and 99% lard ridden takeaways is that really normal?

BiggestBurger1.jpg


Wrap ya laughing gear round one of these!
 

tiltjlp

PN co-founder
Now you done gone and made me hungry, Steve. Of course I was joking about all the differences in the various varieties of English. I wonder, though, do you folks have a hard a time figuring us out as we do with your whacky lingo? And I really would like to know what bubble and squeak is? It almost has to taste better than it sounds.

John
 

StevOz

Administrator
Staff member
Site Supporters
Food History

BUBBLE AND SQUEAK

An old English dish, named for the sounds the ingredients make while cooking (or from the sound one's stomach makes after eating it). Some sources say it was originally cold boiled beef and chopped cabbage, others claim it was originally mashed potatoes and cabbage, while some claim it originally contained all three.

Today it is typically made from leftover potatoes and cabbage fried together.

You had to ask, still feeling hungry?
 
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