Paratech's SEVERE jealousy towards me is so damn obvious that I'm not sure whether it's sad or funny, really. This 'god' business is ridiculous. I'm no one's god. I've got a little bit of talent with the VP editor. Kurt's tables are prettier, after all. Does that make him think he's god too? Maybe in Paratech's world.
Rob pissed me off at VPF and so when I came home from the pub the one night and saw another flaming pile of poo by Rob at VPF, I posted that thread/poll there. It hasn't really been about Rob in particular for a LONG time now because it was never worded that way in the first place and a *LOT* of people had some things to say in that thread, not just me and not even just me and Paratech. That thread, stupid as it might be, is the MOST popular active thread on Pinball Nirvana right now. Why? Because people want to get the crap load of bricks off their damn shoulders once in awhile. It's a bitch & whine thread and a LOT of people like to bitch and whine in this community. A lot of people here think their shit doesn't stink and it shows. So I've decided to create:
Sci-Fi BitchFest V2.0
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<<Shiva>>
Shiva is like The Emporer from Star Wars. He thinks he's the Godfather of this community and that everyone should probably bow down before him and recognize his almighty Shiva powers. Gaging by his former posts, you'd think he single handedly designed VP, built this community and made most of the popular tables out there and then he would cry a little that no one was using or supporting his site and then throw his arms up in the air and DELETE the entire thing after countless people uploaded their tables to it, etc. He'd then reopen it a few months later for Revision 2, 3, 4, 5.... blah blah blah ... to the point where NO ONE GIVES A FUCKING SHIT about it anymore. The whole Universe turns against the Emporer and his Empire and goes about building a New Republic instead.
And yet he wonders WHY. He *had* VPF and DROPPED IT and then was pissed that AJ picked it up and has been pissed about something ever since from what I've seen. Critisize him even a LITTLE over that and suddenly your're distorting everything. The Sith believe their version of reality is correct and the Jedi are the twisters. I've rewritten history and yet people like Kristian have been here since day 1 almost and can verify that's pretty much how it is. But then Kristian is a Jedi so he can't be trusted from a Sith's POV.
<<Shockman>>
If this were the X-Files online, Shockman would be Mulder. The truth is out there and Shockman is going to find it even if he bores us to death in the process. I always wondered why Mulder never noticed that he could have had Scully at ANY time and she's SMOKING HOT, but Mulder never even LOOKED at her because he was way to fucking busy looking for little grey aliens. The guy didn't even have a bed!!! This is how I picture Shockman at his computer, paranoid as all hell that EVERYONE is out to get him and he's not going to let it go until the world tells him he's right. The problem is he's not right. There is no conspiracy and there are no aliens!
<<Tiltjp>>
John's problem was that he thinks the world should revolve around flipperless tables and that everyone should behave like they're living in an old black and white musical number from the 1940's. When people start playing punk rock or rap he would get all bent out of shape about it. He thought PN should be run the way he wanted it to be run and Jon, of course pays the bills and therefore got to push John around and John RESENTED that to death. Ultimately, that's why he left. Ultimately, I'd have to say a Sci-Fi comparison wouldn't work too well. He's more like Walter Matheau in Grumpy Old Men.
<<Paratech>>
Ah, the world according to Paratech. It reminds me of some of visiting a nice Holiday Inn only to discover that Norman Bates owns the place. You know what the rules of the inn are, but somehow the owner doesn't quite follow them and so you're afraid he might just cross the line. Then you realize he's too boring to cross any lines. He flirts with his own rules he holds dear, but won't cross those lines because it's wrong (like sex outside of marriage, but since he can't get married, he can't havve sex, but he'll live with her, though....). But he doesn't realize he's ALREADY crossed ALL KINDS of other lines (e.g. see copyrights; yeah I cross those lines too, but I KNOW it; he doesn't seem to).
Me, I'm more of a glass completely full or completely empty kind of guy, not this half full/half empty business. Either I follow the rules because I know they're right or I break them because I know they're stupid. I don't believe in doing things half-assed, especially making pinball tables. So you KNOW that a glass full personality isn't going to get along with a glass half-full personality. It's like the difference between Yoda and Luke Skywalker. They both believe in the same force, but Luke tries and fails and Yoda simply does because he's mature and experienced enough to know that there is NO try. That doesn't stop Luke from yelling and arguing with him all the time, though. Then Luke doesn't believe it when Yoda does something amazing. And Yoda simply says that is why you fail. Luke simultaneously recognizes Yoda can do things he CAN'T do (like build kick ass pinball tables), yet he still thinks of him as this little weird shrivly green guy. Luke is IMMATURE and has a long way to grow spiritually. He doesn't really understand the force, only that it exists. Maybe some day he could be a Jedi, but not for a LONG time because he'd rather run off to Anchorhead with his friends, only to find out they've all gone to the academy already!
<<Bob>>
Bob is an asshole. He's a real cocky asshole. But he's my kind of asshole! He's like Han Solo. Most of the time he's chasing women and smuggling goods, but once in awhile he comes through when the chips are down.
<<Kristian>>
Kristian is like Ben Kenobi. He knows what he's doing. He's a master in his own right and yet he doesn't see Yoda as some little green weirdo. He can also kick some serious ass when he gets pissed off.
<<Rob>>
Rob is like Anakin. He's clearly got talent, but he spends more time getting angry and telling the Jedi they're not as good as he is and that he can improve everything they do.
<<KC>>
KC is Mace Windu. He thinks he's one bad muthafucker and his purple saber makes him special. He bitches when others like Anakin don't follow the rules, but ultimately he does what he wants himself because modders are too dangerous to be left alive! He doesn't see it coming when others then blind side him and send him flying out over the city on a puff of smoke. People could then swear there used to be this purple lightsaber dude that they thought was bad-ass at one point, but they can't remember what the fuck his name was because he ain't around no more and all traces of his existence have been wiped from the data banks.
<<AJ>>
AJ is like Dungeon Master in the old D&D Saturday Morning Cartoon. He runs things behind the scenes, yet it's been so long since anyone's seen him, they start to wonder if he actually exists until then one day he pops in out of nowhere to give some fortune cookie stsyle advice or make a mushroom turn into a pot of gold, but then he disappears again and you wonder if you ever really saw him. Or is that like a Leprechaun?
<<Randy>>
Randy is like some greek god. He's an almost mythical character and the creator of the known VP pinball simulation world, yet only little children can see him or converse with him!
<<Black>>
Black is Darth Maul. He thinks he's one bad ass dude and given he's had the VP source code and see that tatoo all over his face, they think he MUST BE bad-ass. Yet he ultimately falls underneath the original Sith Lord so he's more of a Sith Lord wannabe that is just plain PISSED at the world for reasons only he can fathom! Ultimately, Obi-Wan sends him flying off into the land across the River Styx into a Future Pinball Hades.
<<Jon>>
Jon Haze reminds me of Chong on That '70s show. He owns the Photo Hut so he seems to be in control, yet every time you talk to him you get the feeling he's on psychadelic drugs....
<<Kurt>>
Kurt is the MCP. With near mechanical precision, he slowly overtakes and assimilates all pinball systems until they all have a certain 3D look made with 3D tools in the Kurt 3D way. He runs a 3D Universe all his own that most of the real world doesn't even know exists except when their stock goes way up when Encom's profits go through the roof.
<<Emkaah>>
Emkaah is like Flynn in Tron. There was this one time when he kicked the MCP's butt at his own game with a near perfect looking 3D Space Shuttle, but no one has ever seen him since then. He must have gone back to the real world....
<<Destruk>>
Destruk is like the Lawnmower Man. He's EVERYWHERE doing EVERYTHING. It's not humanly possible to make that many pinball tables so he must no longer be human.