The joys of Christmas


Pinball Wizard
Oct 26, 2004
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It's that time of year again when:

everyone in work wants the same time off over the festive period;

you spend all day trying to get the lights on the Christmas tree working (and still they don't work). All the bulbs are fine, as is the fuse, so the wiring must be shot to shit!;

the gutter hooks are brittle and snap as you put them on - of course you're up a ladder and replacement hooks are in the garage! Test them first and they're fine - it's one of Gods little tests;

the children want pressies from santa that don't really exist - or if they do they're on another bloody continent;

But 'tis the season of good will - so despite freezing my nuts off and struggling like buggery, I wish everyone in a similar position well - except the Aussies who are sunning themselves silly and don't know what the cold really is! Lucky devils!
I don't know what you mean. Lucky devils in deed.

What is so lucky about not wearing cosy woollen coats and mittens but having to wear shorts, singlet and thongs on Chritmas Day?

What is so lucky that because it's 100 degrees outside when the girls come inside from the pool wearing their skimpy bathers and their nipples get rock hard in the air-conditioning?

What is so lucky about having to have a BBQ lunch with a couple of kilos of prawns instead of a hot roast turkey dinner?

What is so lucky about not having egg-nog but having to have four hundred ice cold beers instead?

Everything. :p :p :p
You absolute bastards ....

thongs - my arse!

nipples like organ stops eh! I hope they take your bloody eyes out!

you can keep your bloody prawns and shove them where the sun don't shine - give me turkey everyday. That's the trouble with you Aussies - so bloody uncivilised. Do you imagine Jesus having prawns? No bloody way. He had turkey like them others. That's true! Cos I was there! :D

But the beer - you don't have any. Amber necter - piss more like. Fosters and bloody Castlemane XXXX - call that beer? :cry: Proper beer comes from ..... er Germany actually! Oh well, I credit them with that. :roll:

Keep well - I'll think of you next British summer when you are suffering only 70 degree heat and I shall be in Arizona taking in some serious sun. Bah humbug.

Christmas just wouldn't be right warm.
Did they even have Turkeys in Israel back then? I certainly don't suppose he had ham for any holidays. :D
I'm sure they had turkeys. One that got away from the US. Probably hitched a ride on a wayward Albatros - as you do! Also ham was considered cosher in those days - and something of a delicacy! You had to be posh to eat ham, or so I read somewhere. Mmmmmm, the books name escapes me but it had Don't Panic written on the back!
Now just maybe he had fishes and loaves. Think about it. I plan on having dishes reflecting my background, which is Irish, German, and American Indian. So I'll have bratwurst, sauerkraut, new potatoes, yams, and cornbread.

Well, I'm NOT planning on having fish & chips for Christmas (or squirrel for that matter) ;) :D
I may just have fish and chips for christmas, though with a side salad of avacado,tomato and onion. Freshly caught fish of course, nothing like it. :)

No doubt with a few soothing ales, which are needed for one will need it for the beer batter, just mix beer and SR flour, coat fillets in flour, put 'em in a plastic bag with some flour and shake. Then dip the fillets in the batter and shallow pan fry, perfect battered fish fillets..Yum!
Hey Steve, can I place a Jumbo order for Catfish and Chips? And what will the delivery charges be on tat to Cincinnati Ohio, USA? And what you call chips are what we call fries, right?

John :oldman
Catfish, I believe those are what we call cobbler here.

Only ever caught one of those here though it was a big one and they are rather tasty, but beware of those spikes.

Yes chips are fried. ;)

As for delievery, well I think fresh from the pan is the only real option, so come around and see me sometime. :)
Yeah, they're ugly cusses, but they sure do taste great. Since I'm not a fisherman, I always get farm raised catfish from the supermarket. I don't use beer in the batter, but do use corn meal, and they make a great lunch, along with baked yams.

John . . . now you got me hungry again! :p Thanks.
Cobbler? Don't name a fish after a dessert.... sheesh. ;)
Mmmmm, beer batter is the only way to go for fried fish. It makes the batter extremely light. I think your supposed to use flat beer, but no true Aussie could leave a beer alone long enough to get flat. :p

I use beer on my BBQ before cooking on it. It just gets rid of any residual fat and any nasties that had been crawling around on the hotplates.
OMG What a waste of beer! That is unless it's Fosters or Castlemaine XXXX - all it's good for is as a cleaning agent. LOL

English is a weird language ...

Cobbler are catfish in Oz

Cobbler are desserts somewhere


Cobbler is a shoe repairers in GB - as well as a derisory remark when you disagree with someone!
How dare you speak ill of the nectar of the gods - XXXX. Bad Elton. :evil:

Why, just for that I'll break tradition (as I am now almost a non-drinker) and have 2 stubbies tonight - one for you and one for me. Hope you get the hangover.(jk)

Yes I know it's sad to think one can get a hangover from 2 beers, but it sort of reacts badly with the meds. :shock: :s 8)

Mind you, I had enough beers in my youth to last me three lifetimes. Hic !

But I'm not as bad as the missus. She gets a hangover if we go out and get home after 11pm. And she doesn't drink alcohol at all !!! :p
Merry Christmas All

Well its bloody cold here. Not as cold as Rochester, MN but cold nevertheless. :wave:

Put the outside Christmas lights on the eaves earlier today. 20 minutes to attach them and 3 hours to check the bulbs. This will be the last year. Think I'll invest in some LED lights for next year 'cos all this bulb checking while cold and up a bloody ladder is no joke.

So hope everyone is getting ready for the festive season - it'll be here shortly - and trust that santa wil deliver whatever it is you've asked for. :cheers:
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