A PINBALL HOMAGE FOR MR MANLY PART VIII

[pinballdaveh]

you have been collecting and restoring vintage EM machines for many years now and your man cave is stuffed with machines. your wife says that you spend way too much money on them , and you should share the love. so you decide to open up a EMCADE in the local strip mall. you check with all the local codes and sigh a lease for a store. you get an electrician to install extra outlets and install your custom made EMCADE outdoor sign. you get the help from some of the local high school football team strong guys to help you load and un-load your machines from your rented truck. after the moving is completed you pay each football strong guy $50 , a case of beer , and a card for free EM for life at your EMCADE. you spend many hours of manly enjoyment assembling your machines and positioning them exactly the way you want them. you use your computer and get free advertisement on as many social sites that you can find. its finally opening day. when you arrive at the EMCADE a line of EM fans is waiting to get in. everybody pays their $15 for an hour and starts playing. while the EM fans are playing you get many compliments on the restoration and playing of your machines. this takes you to a whole new level of manly gratification. after all the EM fans played their hour and left you finally get a chance to relax. a large fat lady comes in with her little boy and walks up to your counter. she says that she is a famous touring opera singer that needs to get to her performance and can i have $5 in change so my son can play pinball while i leave. you tell the lady that the machines are all set to free play and we are having an opening week special of $15 an hour. how many hours would you like to buy? what $15 an hour to play these old machines she says. they look junky too says the little boy. you want to let this spherical glob of fat know how you feel about her unappreciation to your fine works of art. but how do you accomplish this in a manly manor. follow along in your manly manual and repeat after me. #1 HEY LARDAMUS MAXIMUS when you came in i thought i saw good year written on your one side and inflate to 1000 pounds on the other side. #2 HEY HORNHEAD your singing of madama butterfly comes out more like madama elephant. #3 HEY EL TORO your so fat and round , your husband uses your nose and mouth for his fingers for his new bowling ball. #4 opera singer huh. you look more like a planet that lost its orbit. #5 opera huh. well if i wanted to hear men screaming i would record you and your husband having sex and your on top. #6 HEY VIKING LADY if you wanted a baby sitter you should go to a chuckie cheese. oh thats right you were thrown out and banned from coming back for stealing and eating pizza slices from children. use any or all six of these phrases in just such a situation. and as the fat lady opera singer and her son turn and start walking to the door , she tells her son to wait in the car. after her son leaves , she turns around , faces you, backs herself and wedges her body into the door frame , and lets out an amazingly long high pitched note that instantly shatters every piece of glass in your EMCADE. and later when you are on your cell phone with your insurance adjuster and cant hear a word he is saying when you realize your eardrums have been shattered also. the fat lady opera singer will have no doubts as to what kind of man you really are. this is mr manly saying BE MANLY AND GOOD DAY.

 

[Coil_Smoke]

There's That Old Saying.

I really Thought you were going to say " ...And Lets Out The Loudest Rankest Fart..."​

It's Not Over 'Till The Fat Lady Sings ​