Churchyard Festivals

[tiltjlp]

Most of my adult life I have written about my life growing up in and around Cincinnati Ohio. I even had many of my true stories published, and found to no real surprise that experiences are common to no area, and no country. Reading these you may well begin thinking back on your own younger days. And like me, you’ll find you remember the good stuff, but gloss over things less pleasant. That’s not a trick of your mind, it’s simply human nature. And for you younger folks, I hope you enjoy looking back on how life once was.

Since these articles were written anywhere between 7 and 40 years ago, they may seem even a bit more dated than the subject matter.

Churchyard Festivals

Growing up in the fifties in the Cincinnati neighborhood of Fair- mount allowed for many pleasant diversions; Knothole baseball, a Cub Scout den, and even vacant lots. Going to St. Leo’s Catholic school gave us more than our share of fond memories. Our pastor, Fr. Goldschmidt, was reputed to say the fastest mass in town, and most everyone attended one of his services. I was a member of the school band, although I couldn’t read or play a note. But probably the most enjoyable event at St. Leo’s was it’s festival, held each summer.

While the goal of St. Leo’s Summer festival was to raise needed funds for the operation of the school, I saw it as a time for fun and food. The fun took the form of pony rides, dunking booths, and an assortment of game and raffle booths, where I hoped to win both toys and real cash money. The food was the reason I hoped to win real cash money.

The food in question was cotton candy, bags of salty popcorn, a choice between caramel or red candy apples, giant soft pretzels coated with tangy mustard, fruit-flavored ice balls, and the best treat of all, fried fish sandwiches on hearty, dark German rye bread, slathered with tartar sauce. If you had won enough cash money, you could have both thick French fried potatoes and batter dipped fried onion rings. If I happened to be short of real cash money, I always chose the onion rings, church festivals being the only place I ever got to enjoy them.

Real cash money was money I was allowed to spend any way I chose. Money my parents made me save was lost money, since a boy wasn’t interested in saving for the future, unless the future held some sort of toy or game.

The festival’s raffle booths offered a wide variety of prizes, a basket of groceries, a smoked ham, small plastic gizmos such as shoe horns and giant combs, and quilts and knitted items made by the parish women. But there were a few booths that offered real cash money if you were the lucky winner. Of course, a festival wouldn’t be complete without the bingo tent. Add to that the blackjack, split-the-pot, and Big Six booths.

At an early age, I discovered I had a winner’s touch when it came to playing the Big Six wheel, nearly always earning enough real cash money to satisfy my appetite.

In later years I attended church festivals to see old friends and to enjoy being part of a happy crowd. I even found that winning wasn’t that important, since my money was going to a good cause, and besides, I had a job and a steady paycheck. As a young lad, though, winning was important, so I could sample all the delights life had to offer. I saw festivals and carnivals as magic slices of my youth.

 

[sleepy]

In the area I was born in, it was the Summer Ford City Carnival in Pennsylvania, or The Ford City Fire Dept. Fundraiser with a cookout or banquet at the fire dept.

The Summer Carnival on the other hand had the fire dept. marching in a parade, with State Fair-quality amusement rides. Fantastic rides. But the last time I saw the parade in '73, it was The Fire Dept. marching down the street dressed in Drag. Unbelievable.

 

[tiltjlp]

A local volunteer fire department has played a Skirt baseball game for close to 30 years for charity and for the humor. They raise loads of money for really good causes.

 

[JonPurpleHaze]

Thanks John, I just love reading this stuff, I was raised about 10 years after you and believe that the "Greatest Generation" had a hand in your upbringing.

I especially liked the "fastest mass in town" reference, I was a friggin' altar boy (bot?) and feel that I spent too much of my youth in a damned church (fainted a few times from the darn incense), am now agnostic so it didn't work. Also had festivals that you reminded me of at St. Joseph's, currently remembering my first kiss with an aggressive and stacked 8th grader, it was thrilling and scary at the same time.

Festivals and carnivals were magic and I feel sad for today's youth being handcuffed to phones even if they get there. Astonished to recently found out that none of my 6 nieces or nephews have been to a drive-in movie, there are still 3 within 30 miles from here, 2 promised me they will try it...


(RIP Aunt Judy, 1939-2013)

 

[tiltjlp]

Thanks John, I just love reading this stuff, I was raised about 10 years after you and believe that the "Greatest Generation" had a hand in your upbringing.

I especially liked the "fastest mass in town" reference, I was a friggin' altar boy (bot?) and feel that I spent too much of my youth in a damned church (fainted a few times from the darn incense), am now agnostic so it didn't work. Also had festivals that you reminded me of at St. Joseph's, currently remembering my first kiss with an aggressive and stacked 8th grader, it was thrilling and scary at the same time.

Festivals and carnivals were magic and I feel sad for today's youth being handcuffed to phones even if they get there. Astonished to recently found out that none of my 6 nieces or nephews have been to a drive-in movie, there are still 3 within 30 miles from here, 2 promised me they will try it...


(RIP Aunt Judy, 1939-2013)

I agree Jon, our parents lived by a much different moral code than is present today, and gave us some wonderful examples to follow. I wasn't allowed to be an altar boy because I was always too much of a class clown.

 

[sleepy]

Geez, no drive-in movies, no fireworks, and respect not the good of people, but the facelessness of corporate opportunity and graft.

In a way, the current kids remind me of The Eloi in "The Time Machine".

 

[Pintrepid]

Very nice reading, John. I could believe it if you told me you had written the screenplays to "Stand By Me" or "The Sandlot". :)

For me, it was the Berlin Fair in Berlin, CT. The fried onion rings were, to a small boy, gargantuan! The Ferris Wheel was really fun, especially when you got stuck up top. And I still enjoyed the little kiddie rides.

But my best memories came a bit later, in my mid to late teens, when it was either the Three County Fair in Northampton, MA, or the Big E (Eastern States Exposition) in Agawam, MA. The rides were bigger, the variety of food was much more extensive (Italian sausage grinders cooked by the Italians!), and there were even arcades under the tents that featured the old Gottlieb pins as well as some of the early video games.

In those days, Star Wars was in the theaters, there were 40+ pinball machines in the arcade next door, and 50+ at the "other" mall across the way (the late EM machines like Royal Flush, Capt Fantastic and Space Odyssey, and the new SS machines like Eight Ball, Mata Hari, Flash, and Count Down).

But when I was outside, especially on the hot 90+ degree summer days, it was refreshing to cool off in the little creeks and streams along the back woods (at one place the water temperature was only in the 50s!)

Afterwards, it was fun in the evening to take our arsenal of fireworks down into the meadows and have our own little show. You know the mortar-looking kind that has the 12-shot display? We thought it would be a little sparkle and a pop or two. But when we lit it, the sparks seemed to spread across the entire valley! And the pops sounded like huge explosions that echoed for miles! We thought that would have every cop in the county down there in two minutes!

But as we left, of course, we couldn't help lighting off a full pack of firecrackers underneath the stone train trestle. Talk about LOUD!!

Ahhh ... those were the days!

 

[LeeVanCleef]

I was a friggin' altar boy (bot?) and feel that I spent too much of my youth in a damned church (fainted a few times from the darn incense), am now agnostic so it didn't work.

I couldn't help but laugh over this one! I, too, am a "retired" altar boy turned agnostic, who spent waaayyy too much time in church! I remember the "fun" of riding my bike to serve at 8AM mass in the middle of summer, cursing all the public school kids on my block who got to sleep in! I like to think that the heavy church indoctrination really helps a person question the tenets of Christianity in a way that once-a-weekers don't. I'd like to thank the Catlick church for turning me into the reasoned non-believer I am today!

 

[Shockman]

The church does not attempt to prove the existence of God, It attempts to give you faith that he does, to make you theist. Everyone is agnostic, especially so the theist. A theist and an atheist might both say they know, but they don't, they both have faith. With being atheist, or theist, there is nothing else. It's not a curve. Theistism is a point and anything off that point is atheism.

What if you built a house. You would know you have built a home. This is the kind of awareness that enlightenment would give you. You could not lose that faith any easier than you would quit going home because you lost the belief that you had built your home.

Knowing is believing. Is believing knowing? No. Is faith believing? Yes it is, but it is not knowing.

 

[JonPurpleHaze]

The church does not attempt to prove the existence of God, It attempts to give you faith that he does, to make you theist.

Ok Shockie, I agree with you overall but that's from a dictionary and churches don't give a crap about science or any history, the churches I went to always tried to prove the existence of god and failed miserably, where's that church you talk about? Do you have to donate cash to get that version? I'm leaning atheist after that post.

Thanks very much for the post Pintrepid, brings back many memories to me, we once imported a shitload of fireworks from Pennsylvania and went to the docks on the beach, a friend of mine unintentionally lit the paper bag on fire and it was terrifying, they had to rebuild the docks in a few months.

Hey PA fireworks sellers, why do you only allow non-residents to buy them and why do you give them paper bags? I'm certain the state of Pennsylvania plans to take over the states by blowing then up, 1 paper bag at a time..

 

[sleepy]

It's not the Proof of God. It's the Proof of God as the tool of Authoritarian Enforcement that pisses me off. Without that evil device, the Existence of God is a matter of fact, else do as you will without stepping on me.

As for the political implications, I only see housebound women seeking shelter in the sanctuary of a church far away from their homes and their domestic subordinations, and the evil of that mass politic deciding the public vote.

 

[Shockman]

I'm not aware that any exist, but if a church is trying to prove the existence of God then they ARE using science and they will always fail. Churches are about their respective religions and all religions are about faith. Faith by definition is about not knowing, and nothing about proof. As far as I know every church is about giving you faith, not proof.

I am not saying this to get personal Jon. All the churches I have gone to have not attempted to prove the existence of God. They were all smarter than that at least.

What did your old church do that made you think they were trying to prove the existence of God?

 

[tiltjlp]

I'm not aware that any exist, but if a church is trying to prove the existence of God then they ARE using science and they will always fail. Churches are about their respective religions and all religions are about faith. Faith by definition is about not knowing, and nothing about proof. As far as I know every church is about giving you faith, not proof.

I am not saying this to get personal Jon. All the churches I have gone to have not attempted to prove the existence of God. They were all smarter than that at least.

What did your old church do that made you think they were trying to prove the existence of God?

Seems to me that most if not all churches/denominations actually work at instilling guilt and fear in their members. Fear of damnation, punishment, embarrassment, etc, etc, etc. This of course is needed in order for them to collect money/dues from their members. My argument was always that God doesn't need my money.

 

[sleepy]

But In God We Trust! If he ain't on the money, then God doesn't exist!

 

[Shockman]

I agree with both of you. I'm talking about definitions that have to do with words, not just a religious context.

John has it right. Church is a business and it knows the business. The church needs money, but it does not turn to the almighty, it does not even try that. Of course they say that if you give, you it will be returned ten fold, and the lucky people that catches a windfall will testify that that is what happened.

The TV evangelists are the worst. They give a million charities, and money for air time, but it costs the congregation (contributors) a few million for that to happen, the lions share is actually extorted money in their pockets.

I agree with sleepy too. If I was God and this was the best I could do, I would be in hiding too.

 

[Isaac Sauvage]

it took me awhile, but i did realise that everyone in the world is religious. and of course, that's fine. :)


re: wheel of fortune,
how could you make money off that one, tilt? it's one of the lowest-percentage games around, and that's before the carnies manipulate it!