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JonPurpleHaze, Now, in the laid-back California town of sunny San Rafael
Lived a girl named Pearly Sweetcake, you probably knew her well
She'd been stoned fifteen of her eighteen years
And her story was widely told
That she could smoke 'em faster than anyone could roll
Well, her legend finally reached New York, that Grove Street walk-up flat
Where dwelt the Calistoga Kid, a beatnik from the past
He'd been rollin' dope since time began
And he took a cultured toke
And said, "Jim, I can roll 'em faster than any chick can smoke"
So a note was sent to San Rafael for the championship of the world
The Kid demanded a smoke off, "Well, bring him on," said Pearl
"I'll grind his fingers off his hands
He'll roll until he drops"
Said Calistoga, "I'll smoke that chick till she blows up and pops"
So they met in San