A thread just in case

[Anthias]

Hi Bob! Thanks. Good to see you. Yes, feeling better. My condition might be incurable, but it is under control now. I'm still working and managing for the most part. It's been a bit of a wild ride, but that's to be expected. These days my work has become a bit FIFO, which means I'm only around sporadically to work on tables, hence I try to finish them off put them out by Sunday evenings if they're getting close to done.

Ahhh PO, yeah they were some good times.

 

[Anthias]

Well it's been over a year now. While this thing is with me permanently, as in incurable, it's under control. Symptoms can suck, and so can side effects from the treatment, but they're better than the alternative. Without the treatment, I wouldn't be here now. So i'm sticking with it, and should be here for the long haul. What a year though! Thank you to everyone who has been supportive throughout. I hope to keep producing new tables, but I get verry little time for me lately so production is sporadic. Jobs, toddlers and spouses make self time near impossible to find so thank God I only have one of each!

 

[Anthias]

Approaching two years already and the real life stresses are really piling it on. Still working myself to death just to barely tread water financially, while I should be cutting back on that for health reasons and I just can't. That's why I've been hitting the pinball creations hard and fast for the last two years. In the wee hours when I'm at home, once my son is asleep, I squeeze an hour it two here and there into tables. But this condition is not going anywhere, and the cycle of eat sleep work doesn't help. The energy for activities outside those three things just isn't there.

It's been my zen space, my wind down, but now, lately, it's just another stress. And I don't need that. I can't do more stress than I already have. And I'm at a spot now where I don't even know how I'm going to travel for work since I just took out a loan for a used car that promptly blew up. And that's the least of the stresses right now. But they all colour my reactions and interactions, which I'm not necessarily proud of.

And my escape has become another stress, not an escape.

I won't be posting this elsewhere, but at this point I'm looking at stepping back for a while. This hobby used to be fun. But the community's more toxic corners can poison the fun fast. It's always been this way. The ROMz debates from back in the day, the anti originals sentiment that used to pervade some corners, and now there are newly divisive attitudes cropping up.

I'm proud that I've made a lot of fun tables. I've experimented with new tools which enable some interesting stuff. I've branched out from my own art into incorporating the use of fascinating new tools, which anybody could see without the need for vitriol. New tools which I would never use in a commercial product but I felt comfortable with in a freeware environment. Shouldn't users be happy to have free things? Apparently not.

My larger majority of tables out there were made without those tools, largely before those tools existed, but also while they have. but those still get labelled and attacked by some members of the wider VP community along with the ones that do. The Murray Leinster series features artworks from the 1950s, how it can be said to be made with those tools is beyond me. But apparently every table I ever made over the last twenty five years is, which is a blatant misstatement of the situation and one I don't have the strength to combat anymore.

I have several tables unreleased on my cabinet, but I have not decided if they will be polished for release. They are largely for my son anyway, and he has a hand in them, which makes me proud. I don't know if it is worth it to see the things he loves attacked.

I'm sick of the kicks. I'm already down, I don't need the boot in my gut. I'm not going away, but I'm not giving anymore to those parts of the community that don't value my input or my legacy. I'm done. Tables might trickle out, or they might not, or I might recover my drive sooner than later. But if I seem to have gone quiet, well, there it is.

I'm still stuck in the fight for my life here, and that's more important than a minority of blowhards who can't simply contribute to show a better example of what they expect from the hobby, like we all used to do. Imagine the reactions they'd have had to some stuff in the old days...

Play on, friends.

 

[GeorgeH]

...This hobby used to be fun. But the community's more toxic corners can poison the fun fast. It's always been this way. The ROMz debates from back in the day, the anti originals sentiment that used to pervade some corners, and now there are newly divisive attitudes cropping up. ...

I have to agree. Fortunately, this forum is a cut above the others and I don't find as much poison here. I have found the younger generation has this notion that they are entitled and they know everything. I don't have any evidence but I think they may be the source of the newly divisive attitude that you and I are experiencing. I have to say however that the new attitude matches the younger generation. I posted my mod of Indiana Jones on VP Universe and got several poor reviews because they didn't set it up correctly. Since they know everything, they couldn't have done anything wrong on the setup. Since they are entitled to the universe, I should have done a better job to satisfy them hence the poor review.

I have to say that your tables are the most creative of most of the tables out there. My objective is to make a good table better but your tables are more creative than mine.

Might I suggest you continue posting tables on this site but discontinue posting them on the other offending sites because the new attitude doesn't seem to have gotten here yet.

 

[Anthias]

Thanks for your very kind words.

That is certainly a very good idea. I may as well stay among friends, and most are here. It strikes me that PN is very much the bastion of the old guard. I'll see how I feel once the dust settles offline.

 

[telmoabff]

Sad to hear the news. I love your tables. Try not to listen to toxic people. Take your time. Enjoy your family. Enjoy life.

 

[TerryRed]

A hobby should be that. A hobby. You should be having fun doing it. If that is no longer the case, then stepping away can be a good thing. Many have done that over the years as they needed a break, or real life didn't allow for it.... and then eventually many come back when they are in a better place to do so.

There will always be some people we don't get along with, or some may just be having real life stress and problems that are affecting them. I know I've had a few grumpy moments on here I'm not proud of, but luckily I come to realize why it was happening, and would apologize and take the breaks I needed to sort myself out.

The nasty / toxic people... sadly they exist everywhere online and in all hobbies / communities. The ones who have nothing better to do can make a community hobby forum not a fun place anymore. I've dealt with a few over the years, but luckily they either moved on, or keep to themselves now.


I've learned that as long as what I do / create brings me joy, then it doesn't matter what others think. I had to deal with lots of people being rude / nasty towards me and my work simply because its on FP or it has fantasy elements, etc. I'm at the point where I take joy in the fact I'm not doing the same things as others.

I've been dabbling in vpin since around 2007. There have been many changes and many faces over those years. Its not going anywhere. Do what you need to do. Your health and personal well being comes first.

 

[Anthias]

Well that forces my hand... My cabinet Playfield screen is dead.

 

[Anthias]

Found a little tv lying around. It's woefully inadequate

 

[Anthias]

I have a few themes I've been tinkering with. One is the rose fairy corps of engineers, a steampunk fairy tale. Not sure on title. Decided to try an animation AI on my phone with it. Got this cool GIF out of it. I thought it might be a nice em, but with animation like this possible a DMD might be in order

 

[Anthias]

New Playfield screen is a bit big for the hole... Maybe it's time to graduate to a pinball shaped cab ..

 

[GeorgeH]

New Playfield screen is a bit big for the hole... Maybe it's time to graduate to a pinball shaped cab ..

It looks like you could raise the top a little to fix it. However, I have seen several pictures of setups where playfield screens that fold up flat against the wall and pull down when in use. If there were a way of raising and lowering the backbox, it would probably take about the same amount of space as your exiting setup when it was folded up.

 

[Isaac Sauvage]

I've learned that as long as what I do / create brings me joy, then it doesn't matter what others think.

Zen-Master & Life-Master Terry, that's kinda what I've been after here for the past ~23yrs!
Dammit, that's good, though! <3

Anyway, I wish the best to Marty (OP), you, and George... this scene is hugely lucky to have y'all.


Personally, I'm having problems these days with macular degeneration, something that runs on my paternal-grandmother's side. In other words, I seem to be being going blind, these days.

We'll see what happens, of course...

Anyway, back to you, Marty-- how's your brother & mum doing?!?
I still remember them designing some crazy-funny tables from back in the day...

 

[Anthias]

Thanks guys. I'm considering rotating the upright portion of the cab 90 degrees. Looks like three bolts either side, lay it back, rebolt it. Then reposition the back box into a verticle position. Would need to move any wiring etc that way and the base box is probably heavy enough to keep it stable.

Dizzidi (mum) is still playing but not likely to create anything these days. I surprised her .by setting up pinball on her computer with some of her old tables and she didn't even remember a few of them. But she has fun playing pinball. I've set her up with vpx and she enjoys it still.

Rockinghorse is determined to start making tables again but doesn't get time for himself much so it hasn't happened yet. The rare occasions I can get around there we tinker with getting his Chinese built cabinet upgraded, currently stalled getting the ultimate controller to work on his new PC. He has been doing some vp9 but hasn't broken into vpx yet. His unreleased Bluey vp9 table is one of the tables my son loves playing on the cabinet. He's been talking about a modern remake of his old vp8 original table "blackjack" (I did a vp9 with b2s cabinet update of it for him a year or so ago, which sparked his interest.) He still talks about restarted PO but who has the time?

 

[Isaac Sauvage]

The rare occasions I can get around there...

Ah, that's cool that he's still relatively in the area. I seem to recall you having to move hither & yon, all over the place for job-work and such. But 'Straya being such a big place, who knows how close you'd be able to stay to fam?

Anyway, thanks for the updates, matey!

***

Btw, please pardon and/or ignore this question if not appropriate, but I was wondering how treatment was going for your D2? As for me, it's something which showed up on my blood chart recently, and theoretically may be contributing to my vision loss, altho a blood pressure spike is equally culpable, haha. But, yeah-- just wondering if I may how the D2 hit you initially (how you felt, etc), plus how you're feeling these days?

(welp, there you go-- I guess it really is true that the older you get, the more you naturally talk about ill health XD)

 

[Anthias]

Ah, that's cool that he's still relatively in the area. I seem to recall you having to move hither & yon, all over the place for job-work and such. But 'Straya being such a big place, who knows how close you'd be able to stay to fam?

Anyway, thanks for the updates, matey!

***

Btw, please pardon and/or ignore this question if not appropriate, but I was wondering how treatment was going for your D2? As for me, it's something which showed up on my blood chart recently, and theoretically may be contributing to my vision loss, altho a blood pressure spike is equally culpable, haha. But, yeah-- just wondering if I may how the D2 hit you initially (how you felt, etc), plus how you're feeling these days?

(welp, there you go-- I guess it really is true that the older you get, the more you naturally talk about ill health XD)

Mine is type 1, but yeah it hit hard but after a few months came under fairly tight control. Make sure they test for both types, because it's common for us oldies to be misdiagnosed as type 2 because of outdated medical ideas, which can become a world of hurt eventually if you are type 1. Happily the type two treatments, while not effective against the cause, do somewhat treat the symptoms so you can go a much longer while on them than you would with no treatment at all, but later onset type one is recognised now and should always be tested for since type two treatment will not keep you alive indefinitely if your not type 2. Chances are strong it is type 2, but if you're one of the 10% who are type 1, best to start out right, especially with the new dope coming soon that seems to cure it in recently diagnosed cases (within five years - I'm going to have to investigate that myself.)

 

[Anthias]

Ah, that's cool that he's still relatively in the area. I seem to recall you having to move hither & yon, all over the place for job-work and such. But 'Straya being such a big place, who knows how close you'd be able to stay to fam?

Anyway, thanks for the updates, matey!

***

Btw, please pardon and/or ignore this question if not appropriate, but I was wondering how treatment was going for your D2? As for me, it's something which showed up on my blood chart recently, and theoretically may be contributing to my vision loss, altho a blood pressure spike is equally culpable, haha. But, yeah-- just wondering if I may how the D2 hit you initially (how you felt, etc), plus how you're feeling these days?

(welp, there you go-- I guess it really is true that the older you get, the more you naturally talk about ill health XD)

Things to be aware of: while it's still new, diabetes has a terrible impact on your cognitive abilities - my wife thought I had Alzheimer's or dementia it was that bad. It also hits vision hard. I was blurred to hell and back. Takes a while to come back to normal but both do, though prolonged episodes of instability will bring them back briefly from time to time. Brain fog is an issue, but less so once under proper control. I hope you are coping ok and caught it early.

 

[Anthias]

On the cabinet front:
Seriously considering laying the cabinet back. It's a strange beast with the base a seperate box, the top half where the screens are held on with three bolts on either side, the walls running down diagonally from front near the controls to back. I think if I remove two bolts I can simply rotate the whole thing to lay the main screen flat then resecure. But to do that I need to remove the screens and PC and check what else is going on. I can't really see the internal structure as it is. If it's doable it would be a wacky and unique pinball when done! Trying to find blueprints etc online of the original (Australian made generic) arcade machine is proving fruitless.

 

[Isaac Sauvage]

Mine is type 1, but yeah it hit hard but after a few months came under fairly tight control. Make sure they test for both types, because it's common for us oldies to be misdiagnosed as type 2 because of outdated medical ideas, which can become a world of hurt eventually if you are type 1.

Hmm, but doesn't D1 generally show up much earlier for most folks due to being a genetic form, and not brought about by poor lifestyle choices...?

Oof... yet in a way I guess it's good to hear that you didn't bring about diabetes by repeatedly elevating & crashing your glycemic levels, which is ridiculously common in the States and various other places, generally due to terrible diets, generally involving way too much processed carbs. (for example, me with my ME/CFS, I still selectively drink some booze to temporarily help give me some relief, like a total moron, haha)

Interesting aside on that-- I lurk a bit on East-Asian subs, and I've seen more than one Asian person bemoan how many of their relatives loved polished rice over the years... eventually landing them almost universally with D2, in the end. White rice of course being typically stripped of its hull, which contains the vast bulk of its fibre and nutrients. Meaning, I would guess it's only marginally better than Cocoa Crispies, or whatnot. Just a blood-sugar health disaster, yet a completely-accepted, cultural way of life around there.

It just seems really... sad, yet inevitable. Like, just imagine being an East-Asian kid trying to build an informed, healthy diet, yet having your nuclear family and almost everyone else around you giving you a world of shit for not eating white rice, "like we all do, you little heretic."

Things to be aware of: while it's still new, diabetes has a terrible impact on your cognitive abilities - my wife thought I had Alzheimer's or dementia it was that bad. It also hits vision hard. I was blurred to hell and back.

Wow.
Now over here, my silly excuse for a brain is so far roughly burbling away as it generally do, but my vision loss is getting kinda... weird. I.e., not so bad on a daily basis, and sometimes there's much better days, but the overall trend ain't good. Like Buster Scruggs, one probably doesn't want to dismiss the 'new kid in town,' as maybe a convoluted example, haha.

(you know that classic clip, from the Coen Bros film, in which Buster underestimates the new, hotshot gunslinger?) (this Firefox browser is an absolute disaster at YT lookups, so you'll need to manually look it up, sorry)

Trying to find blueprints etc online of the original (Australian made generic) arcade machine is proving fruitless.

Damn, so it's that rare?!

By this point, I feel like even the most obscure of pins have gotten extensive coverage due to how wonk-ish we all are about pinballs, haha.

 

[Anthias]

Yeah Type 1 used to be called juvenile diabetes because we didn't understand what was going on. It can sit dormant for many decades before being triggered usually by an immune response to some unrelated virus, at which point the immune system goes nuts and attacks the beta cells in the pancreas and bam, you're type one. It used to be later in life onset wasn't recognised, and such patients would be often labelled as unresponsive type two. Basically they were treated as type two until they died. But now it's recognised that ten percent of all diagnosed are type 1, not just juvenile patients and they test for cpeptide levels and type 1 related antibodies to confirm type. In America they sometimes call older onset type 1 "LADA" but it's still type 1. It does tend to have a longer honeymoon phase, while the pancreas still has some beta cells, which is why late onset type 1 sometimes last a while on type two medications.

 

[Anthias]

Hmm, but doesn't D1 generally show up much earlier for most folks due to being a genetic form, and not brought about by poor lifestyle choices...?

Oof... yet in a way I guess it's good to hear that you didn't bring about diabetes by repeatedly elevating & crashing your glycemic levels, which is ridiculously common in the States and various other places, generally due to terrible diets, generally involving way too much processed carbs. (for example, me with my ME/CFS, I still selectively drink some booze to temporarily help give me some relief, like a total moron, haha)

Interesting aside on that-- I lurk a bit on East-Asian subs, and I've seen more than one Asian person bemoan how many of their relatives loved polished rice over the years... eventually landing them almost universally with D2, in the end. White rice of course being typically stripped of its hull, which contains the vast bulk of its fibre and nutrients. Meaning, I would guess it's only marginally better than Cocoa Crispies, or whatnot. Just a blood-sugar health disaster, yet a completely-accepted, cultural way of life around there.

It just seems really... sad, yet inevitable. Like, just imagine being an East-Asian kid trying to build an informed, healthy diet, yet having your nuclear family and almost everyone else around you giving you a world of shit for not eating white rice, "like we all do, you little heretic."


Wow.
Now over here, my silly excuse for a brain is so far roughly burbling away as it generally do, but my vision loss is getting kinda... weird. I.e., not so bad on a daily basis, and sometimes there's much better days, but the overall trend ain't good. Like Buster Scruggs, one probably doesn't want to dismiss the 'new kid in town,' as maybe a convoluted example, haha.

(you know that classic clip, from the Coen Bros film, in which Buster underestimates the new, hotshot gunslinger?) (this Firefox browser is an absolute disaster at YT lookups, so you'll need to manually look it up, sorry)


Damn, so it's that rare?!

By this point, I feel like even the most obscure of pins have gotten extensive coverage due to how wonk-ish we all are about pinballs, haha.

On the vision, the diabetic vision issue fluctuates day to day as it's caused by accumulation of sugars in the eye, causing lense deformation. As sugars fluctuate so does vision.

 

[Anthias]

Yesterday marked two years since I started this thread. I'm still here. Still on chemo. Still fighting and winning. Not bad going really.

 

[telmoabff]

Fight and win, that's the good news! Keep on fighting!