Clowning Around

tiltjlp

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The summer of 1959, at the tender age of 12 ½, my parents forced me to abandon the only home I had known, set high atop a hill in Fairmount. When I protested and refused to accompany them and my brother to a new house in the suburb of Delhi Township, my words were met with laughter. I spent our final week in Fairmount asking most every family if I could move in with them. The day that we moved, I vowed that I would never speak to my parents again, a vow I kept until my older brother and I began arguing who would get the bedroom with two windows.

Being younger, I found that I was going to lose most arguments, a fact that pleased my brother. What few victories I had over him came outside our new ranch-style bungalow. Unable to find a new paper route, I began asking the owners of every business in Delhi for any sort of job. The day I came home and announced that I’d been hired at a gas station was my first victory.

My brother had failed to get a job at the same station just a day earlier. He had wanted to pump gas, but since he wasn’t sixteen and old enough to drive, someone else was hired. When he found out that I would be their gas station clown, he was irate, since jobs were few and far between for underage teens.

In my position as a gas station clown, I would wear a full clown costume; big shoes, freight wig, red sponge nose, and a checkered clown suit. I would jump around and lure cars into the station, where, if they bought eight gallons or more of gas, I presented them with a six-bottle carton of soda pop. I worked two hours a day during the week, and six hours on weekends at $1.50 an hour. While that first job only lasted two weeks, I worked as a clown for every new station for nearly three years.

The only reason I was hired at all, I found out later, was that I was too young to have any friends who had driving permits. And I wouldn’t be as likely to pass out soda pop to anyone who had not bought enough gas. One kid, a junior in high school, had given a carton of pop to anyone he knew, in exchange for fifty cents.

After there were no new stations opening, owners would hire me to lure drivers in for special sales, such as $5 off a new battery, coffee and donuts when a new service bay was added, or when those famous price wars began. By then, each station had a different clown suit for me to wear.

For some reason, the owners didn’t mind me working more than one station at a time. Maybe it was because I did a good job getting customers into the stations with my humorous antics. One gimmick I had was to drink from a gas can. Of course, it had never held gasoline, and I drank iced tea, but it sure did get folks wonder- ing enough to pull up to the pumps.

After I grew too old for my clown job, no one took my place. The owners found other ways to promote their businesses and attract new customers. In turn, they gave away candles, Christmas decorations, decks of playing cards, fancy drinking glasses, and even discounts on car repairs. While my career as a gas station clown wasn’t my ticket to fame or fortune, it was fun. It was also one of few jobs I had that I truly enjoyed. I wonder how many youngsters missed out on a chance to be gas station clowns, because of the newer self service idea.
 
I grew up in Jersey where it is illegal to pump your own gas
so at the tender age of sixteen I was a full time gas jockey
having dropped out of high school (MBD and ADD and
all the ridiculing by neighborhood kids led to my quitting)
I loved to pump gas and tend to the customers cars
yeah even in pouring rain I checked tire air pressure
radiator fluid levels, oil levels even tranny fluid
then when I hit seventeen I got my first real job as a quality control inspector
at an Aluminum foundry and that was the end of my gas jockey days
I still miss those wild and crazy times
 
Parallel development

My first job was at Towson Plaza Exxon. The station was owned by my neighbor Bob. Bob had known our family for years. I was a shoe-in for the job. The gas nozzle fell out of a neighbor's car on my first day. About nine gallons of fuel ran all over the parking lot. Mrs. Wetzelburger never knew. We were told to always ask to 'Check Under The Hood?'. We would sell the same empty can of oil or tranny fluid all day and pocket the 75 cents. I loved being outside. Rain, snow it did not matter. I liked meeting new customers I also liked tire repair and balancing. Oil changes were ok but hot work on the cars that just stopped in. Customers lined up for blocks during the first gas crises. I was taking in so much cash I did not quite know what to do with it. I started to dart into the office and throw wads of money in the bosses trash can. We pumped gas till the tanks ran dry. Waited for a delivery and we were at it again. When we learned how to set the price on the mechanical pumps we scammed the boss out of cheep gas. We would set the price as low as it would go.(19.9 cents/gal.) We filled our tanks and payed for the gallons pumped. The books always tallied up. There had to be some shortage in the tanks but we never heard a word about it.
 
ah the good old days when you could turn the gas pump to off
then reset it back to zeros on the amount of gas pumped in
then start to pump gas all over again of course getting the first bunch of gas free
before you restarted the pump switch
 
wow, i guess you really were the lawrence frank-type, tilt. i didn't start working formerly until about 16 - 17. at mcdonald's.

as one of life's true clowns, i always kind of wanted to wear the official regalia. if my health hadn't been compromised it would have been a very good and appropriate career for me, i think. :)

speaking of mcd's, i understand that weatherman cum minor celeb willard scott was the very first official ronald mcdonald. sort of like how bob keeshan... captain kangaroo... was the very first clarabelle the clown on howdy doody.

Ronald.jpg


my, wasn't it different back then?
 
Damn, I missed out. Guess I was too serious (still am). Playboy didn't need a photographer at the time, so I went with my dad on his routes.:p\'n\'l:
I was an operator at 13, and even President and CEO by 18. Damn, growing up sucks....
 
damn but that shot of Willard Scott is downright scary
no wonder they changed him up to make him more kid friendly
i really like the one at the McD's where my gal works though
he is a plastic statue sitting on a bench in the ball crawl area
and looks not unlike your local friendly neighborhood child molester!!
hey I didn't ask for her to pose like that just happened to find it online!!
 

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clowns do have a slightly sinister side... part of the whole point. they amuse us but flaunt the rules of conduct, like loki the trickster god.
 
hey I didn't ask for her to pose like that just happened to find it online!!

Ronald's just interviewing interns for when he makes Prez.
 
i BEG TO differ sum clownz R in charge...
 
Yeah.....the Prez ain't really in charge, right? Don't they call that Czechs and valances, or something?

Oh---no need to beg (unless you're married):oops:
 
Amazing that you were a clown tilt, always wanted to try but they scare the hell out of me, never had a bad experience with the scary mutha's but I don't really trust the dudes. That, despite having an Uncle that has been a part-time clown for over 30 years, he does balloon tricks and many other scary shit...:juggle:

I used to know a lot of other clowns due to my Uncles Masonic temple in Cleveland in the late 80's to early 90's, I'd see them without makeup for drinks at the temple during weekday lunches and they were just drunk business men but they get scary to me when they hit the phone booth...

My first real job, after countless paper boy routes (Once had 2 in the am and 1 in the pm!) was at a carwash and I was hired to collect the cash and try to suggest bullshit upgrades to the only wash you could get, caught on fast and started to promote the diamond wash which was the same as the only one they had.:headscratch:
 
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