Does Anybody Here Have Bad Family?

[sleepy]

Bad blood. Arm's length At a Minimum. Dysfunctional. Irrational. Argumentative. Intolerable. Authoritarian. Narcissistic. Successful. Artistic. Industrial. Matriarch. Patriarch. Old Poor. Retarded.
Old Money. Old Fart?

Control freak?

Hostile by their opinions with violent tendencies which they excuse as being 'Their Discipline' or 'Their Politics' or 'Their Religion' or worse, 'Their Public Image' anytime you are simply minding your own business and they aren't minding theirs, which may be 24/7 with them? Brutal. Violent with pets and people,
and treating you like a pet?

Rich Bastards? The Kennedys? The Gettys?

Do you find yourself needing to stay away from their toxic personalities just to enjoy a normal day, and how often they delight in taking offense at 'your thoughtless behavior'?

Or, they attempt to commandeer and deprive your habits? Your lifestyle?
Your Rights? Do they then write-off their transgressions as 'a joke'?

Do they often feel the need to piss in your beer and then drink a toast while congratulating themselves behind your back? Do they enjoy belittling you?

Have they ever made a point of deliberately serving you food poisoning for no apparent reason? Have they ever prevented you from seeing a Doctor? A Dentist?

Have they ever punched you in the mouth because they were having a lousy day, week, month, year, decade, lifetime?

Or, they consider themselves as "The In-Crowd" and treat you like an outsider? A stranger? Have they ever left you for dead? Sink or swim on matters that they, not you, are responsible for? Perhaps they are polite, yet always holding their superiority above "your errors in judgement", particularly when you are right which they may never let you be?

Do they ever admit that they are wrong? Or do they weasel out of it, or change the subject after grinding you to a pulp?

Do they abuse you by your sincerity and empathy to People in general?

Do they have any sincerity left to lose?

Do they invite themselves to hurl their miseries at you, at your expense?
Until you are more miserable than they are?

Or, are they criminals above or below suspicion with a longer list of untried offenses than even the list of charges that they have had to answer for publicly?

Do they have a proven track record for stupidity?

 

[Isaac Sauvage]

the ones whose care i grew up in did such a number on me that they created an interior great barrier reef between me and my inner child. such things eventually cause illness in one form or another. but i didn't know how to handle that even well in to young adulthood, so i unintentionally kind of redoubled their unhelpful messages. new ppl, new situations fed in to the broken process... main use as kindling.

problem is, anxiety can feed on itself, and unabated depression can physically shrink the hippocampus as various science papers suggest it.

BUT distance from my family physically, much self-reflection, going through the contents of my mind and doing the deliberate slow sorting-out of testable fact versus fact merely built of gummy bears and popsicle sticks, letting go of the unneeded parts, gently reprogramming the mind over time...

all provided healing influences... inlets through great barrier reef... a way to see the world more and more accurately.

tada.

 

[Isaac Sauvage]

ah, but one more thing-- one needs to find the right levers across the time and paths wandered of one's life. the levers that shift the key stuck logs causing logjam in mind.

the levers that are for health, and not sideways carving in to river bank merely to provide more space for more logs. not the bullshit levers.

 

[sleepy]

Yeah, when that sort starts making their move, I reflect on the times
before they arrived, back when life was better than what they have to offer.
Even if it means remembering back when I was 2 years old, because I know
I wasn't the hot shot with the plans. Not at that time.

That tends to make them look quite desperate.

 

[faralos]

me and my mom get along great, cousins who live near me suck at best
my sisters have all but disowned me since they both make over six figures a year
and I don't so I get the cold shoulder treatment from them all the time
my cousins can't understand what it is like to not have any money at all
or what my EBT card means to me and how much I really DO need it
and I get ignored come holidays or family get togethers
ah well better happy and alone than miserable with family!

 

[Isaac Sauvage]

keep meeting new ppl... find good friends over time... build a tribe of sorts... a new family... then blood family becomes less and less relevant over time.

therefore, as someone who understands that process mentally, key for me is to work on step one... work on the social skills and human understanding as a natural fundamental.

 

[faralos]

don't know if it's a good thing or not
but most of my better friends are all online!
and not so much in person any more

 

[Isaac Sauvage]

give a man a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- oscar wilde

 

[mister b]

I could pen a novel on the topic, yes.

Let's put it this way, the short version? I cannot to this day watch "Married With Children" without feeling a rage just this side shy of a Klingon.

That was us. Except our version was much, much, much worse.

So, life began after I finished school, and took off. There ya go.

-B

 

[sleepy]

give a man a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- oscar wilde

Something like, "Ask me no questions...".

And mister b, I hope your situation hasn't empowered those responsible.
The worst scenario is when the "Married With Children" type win EMMYS,
monies, or social political power, not because they are more severe than the private abusers, but because they can then do it over and over while assuming a Citizen Above Suspicion status which can thwart our Rights, the local laws and protections.

 

[mister b]

Sleep, old chum? Those responsible now are somewhere in another dimension.

And I prefer the old Klingon adage: "The best revenge is living most well." I've managed to outlive a few...ahem....detractors.

-B

 

[Isaac Sauvage]

Something like, "Ask me no questions...".

well, one involves the flow of real information while the other aims for a pure source and gets immediately shut off like an unauthorised tap.

"i'll tell you if you don't ask, therefore i won't tell you."

i also interpret the wilde thing, especially on the internet, as: let ppl have their masks and be however they want to be. even then you often won't get the truth, but you will have many opportunities to discover what lies behind the mask if you care to pursue it. but that comes right back to reality and face-to-face dealings, because that's pretty-much how that goes, as well. as in, we walk around all day exercising programmed and conditioned behaviors to meet the needs of our true desires and feelings.

...

okay, i had a thought about revenge the other day: "the best revenge is not needing revenge."

i.e. life is very short, the vengeance-list can easily get out of hand, so therefore isn't it useful to go in the other direction? to try to let it go and try not take things that personally? easier said than done! still, in reality, i believe very few if any slights are really personal in natural. i.e., ppl tend to be far too wrapped up in their own needs and / or dysfunctional thinking to want to take that much time on you. unless it's only to make themselves feel good, which in the end is still just pursuing their own needs.

...

this has been a post from the artist-monk, who rose up for a minute.

 

[mister b]

Well, one can then think along the lines of Will Rogers:

"Always live the kinda life where, when ya die, you're not worried about leaving your pet parrot to the town gossip."

-B

 

[Isaac Sauvage]

especially if you can teach your parrot to swear like a sailor, which is apparently what winston churchill did with his!

i believe his bird as well as cheetah, the chain-smoking chimp from the original tarzan movies, were both still alive until recently. :D