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Gotta love a good Blonde Joke!

Slapnuts

Super Moderator
A blonde at school

A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" Very good," said her mother. Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said. "Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes it's because you're blonde."

The next, the girl came home from school. Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No Honey,it's because you're 24!!"
 

JonPurpleHaze

Site Nudger
Staff member
Site Supporters
Pinball Nirvana has a Blonde Joke Category, submit new jokes and rate them!

http://www.pinballnirvana.com/index...4&sorton=name&sort=asc&startnum=1

:juggle:

A bunch of blonde jokes...woo-hoo!
What do you call an eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours, they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left." So they turned around and went home.

What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
Oh,look, Daddy....doughnut seeds!

Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Why can't blondes dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone.

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!

How can you tell if a blonde's been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.

Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.

A blonde and a brunnette were walking outside when the brunnette said,"Oh, look at the dead bird." The blonde looked skyward and said, "Where? Where?"

How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Hear about the blonde who got an AM radio?
Took her a month to figure out she could play it at night.

What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey team?
They drowned during spring training.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Duh! Look! They spelled Macy's wrong!"

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Tuesday.

Why are blonde's boobs always square?
Because they forget to take the kleenex out of the box.

http://www.pinballnirvana.com/index...=&searchtext=&cattid=4&startnum=1

:orcbeer:
 

Kinsey

Pinball Wizard
How do you drown a dumb blonde?
Tape a quarter to the bottom of a swimming pool.
or
Tape a mirror to the bottom of a swimming pool.

How do you kill a dumb blonde?
Affix spikes to her shoulder pads.

How does a blonde turn on the lights after sex?
Opens the car door.
 

Slapnuts

Super Moderator
Blonde cooking

MONDAY

It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY

Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper.

WEDNESDAY

A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY

Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY

I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

SATURDAY

Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten.

SUNDAY

Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY

This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.
 

JonPurpleHaze

Site Nudger
Staff member
Site Supporters
Add them to The Blonde Jokes section?
http://www.pinballnirvana.com/index...4&sorton=name&sort=asc&startnum=1
Bashing Blondes...part 1!
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A She gets the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third grade.

Q: What did the blonde get on her IQ test?
A: Saliva.

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
:afro:
 
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