My first joke here

kristian

Pinball Wizard
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Guy goes to the doc for the results of his HIV test.......Doc says...."I've got good news and bad news....what dya want first....."?

Gimme the bad news....."You're HIV positive"!

What's the good news...?...."You've got Alzheimers.....so go home and forget about it"...!
 
Funny joke kristian, welcome to the nut house. :lol:

John
 
Here's another:




A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world.

He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, etc.

The guy says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.

The first one walks up with a guitar. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix. So the man pays $50.

Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the man pays his $50.

A third guy walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look.

"Ha!" the man said. "Can't you play it?"

The octopus looks up at the man and says, "Play it? I'm going to f**k it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off!"
 
This joke is even better than your 1st one Kristian. And you don't need to use the ** unless you want to. Hope you've got more where those came from.

John
 
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