how could ANYBODY stay home till 25? I am shuddering at the thought! I felt it was too late when I was 17!
Regardless, there is NEVER an excuse for the taco! responsibility lies allways with the individual for the action. Justify it however you want, but you have to take responsibility. Or is it the mothers fault for feeding the shit? At 19, if that is his way of dealing with problems, then a shit is all he is - no excuses, and while perhaps the parents are to blame, that can only go so far. I've encountered hundreds of kids who claimed to be adhd, and ONE thing was a lesson that kurbed their behaviour, once they learned it, more than ANYTHING else. Responsibility. Teach them that, teach it strict, teach it to the exact same standards you demonstrate yourself (If you are not strict with yourself, then YOU need to change - this is where parents are the problem), teach it fast, and your problems will be largely resolved.
I hate that so many people make adhd an excuse for being a shit. Its never an excuse. It is like saying a drunk is not responsible for drink driving and killing somebody "Forgive me, judge, I was drunk so I didn't have any control over my actions". That just can not work. give an excuse that pardons criminal actions, and you have a criminal. Give a child a medical excuse for being badly behaved, and they will be badly behaved, simply because you are teaching them that they have no other way to be. It is the greatest mistake of modern "medicine". But if you make something a disease, it becomes a money cow, which is the case with so many things now....
This isn't said to deny the existance of ADHD as a medical condition OR its sometimes debilitating effects on genuine sufferers personal lives, but rather to deny that it is something that removes self control, or self awareness. If you ascribe a disease the ability to effect behaviour in this way, you deny a part of that childs intelligence, a part of their mind, and a part of their humanity, in the same way that turned "Spastic" into an insult, that made "mental" a term of derision, and led to children who were a little bit different being labelled somehow sub-human in the playground. Our big-pharm western medicine controllers have stooped once more to that childish level in creating these kinds of things out of an urge to make money at any cost. They ought to be ashamed. These kids need help and good parenting, not drugs and excuses.
I know my opinions will be shot down by some, but I have extensive experience in dealing with this which has led me to this point, and will not easily change my opinion now that I have seen as much of it as I have. In fact, I used to think quite differently once apon a time.