really? myself, i seem to keep changing. i keep growing in terms of understanding the core issues that drive me and fuel my emotions... which does tend to keep making me a little more kind and understanding towards all different kinds of people and all different kinds of hardships, misunderstandings and drama across this crazy world. over time, of course... after i get over my feces-flinging mode, of course.
The rest of your post suggests you have neither changed, or grown. Talk to the finger was nothing, and I did succeed in showing that, and that was my point. The whole argument should have centered on that. It never did. The argument was instead could the staff do any wrong, and admit it. I tried to argue a point about what moderation is, what moderation means, and what a good moderator is all about. How could you honestly think I can change to the point where I would think your pride and other's was more important than that website was?
I would do it all over, just the same. Not because I have not changed, but because the basic concept of right and wrong has not changed. VPF was what you and the other staff made it. I was a mere member and played to exactly what it was. Again, if all of you had no pride, then a simple act of moderation would have ended this before it was public. The request was PM. The first few complaints were PM. The first hot comments were PM. That is on Staypuft, but the pride festered in the staffing. Staypuft wanted to do his job. To moderate, after it became public. He was not allowed because of other's pride. He then, and not later, quit. We had no other public communication, be we did have private communication. He thought at first that it was a judgment call, but as a moderator knew it was not moderation, and what the right thing was. Don't confuse memory with non change though. I hated you at one point, to the point that I did not care if you were alive, let alone doing well. I like you now though. I just consider you to have had an evil phase. If that is not a change, nothing is.
at the same time, when i became a VPF admin way back when, i felt like it was my job to give everyone possible a 2nd / 3rd and 4th chance. in other words, i was very, very insecure and wanted to please everyone, and felt the need to bend over backwards for anyone who said they had a good argument. not just you, but every single person who had ever felt wronged by a VPF staff at one time. wow........ and you wanna talk about a formula for instant failure? my god.
I don't fully understand what you are saying here, but I know I saw none of it at the time. In some ways, you were worse admin of all. In others, the best. But the bad was off the scale. With you and the others, an narcissistic pride seemed a job requirement, but you downright lied the most.
in retrospect, phil? if i had actually trusted the work of the people who came before me, you would have been instantly banned when i first took up the job. it wouldn't have come down to pete banning you because you threatened me (or the site, or something like that)... you would have just been instantly gone. vamoosed. goodbye. etc. and more than ever, i know that such would have been the best and correct decision for the good of the community.
I wonder if you meant to type about trusting the word, instead of the work. If not, I miss the point. You suggest that you did not ban me. If that is what you need, then I will not argue that. But you did, and you can argue that if you like. But it would be a good time to bring up one lie. The one where you said if I could get AJ to take me off of RO that you would not go against him. He did and the first thing you did was go against him. It had to make you wonder why I could get a hold of AJ when his staff could not. Pride again trumped administration, and your word. If you did not go home and tell your wife, call your Mom, and declare you were an asshole today, then you at least were a narcissist, and I don't know if they can change or not, but I know no example.
and, yea i would have felt a little shitty for having banned you (or anyone), but i would have consoled myself that there was PN and several other places to make your case and spew all the anger you wanted to for as long as it took for you to get adjusted.
You know what I think about that statement.
bottom line: you're a very smart, interesting person, phil, but you can be a total knucklehead when it comes to certain things, and i'm sorry to say that it still sounds like you haven't realised very much of that after all all this time to potentially reflect. at the same time, i'm not a teacher, and i will never have the right, perfect words to give people insight or motivation. all of that shit is on you, and you alone. as it is for all of us poor fuckers, when it really comes down to it.
That's the bottom line as you see it? VPF was doomed then. If it was not me, it would have been someone else, but it had to be someone.
I do wish you well Nick, and I don't hold a grudge against you. You were an Admin. of VPF. You were not held to and standard in your self nor as it were, in others. And to suggest I might have changed. To suggest that I needed to. To suggest that I was more than a malcontent, but that I should have been content, no matter what.
You know the things VPF did that made me angry. What was it I did that caused this? Type 'talk to the finger'? Suggest that if the exchange was edited that it be done fairly. Anything after that was reaction after PMs that started with 'if you are going to edit my post then you should edit his as well, and ending with taking sides is not what moderation is about, regardless of the side you are leaning towards. Yes, everything else came after that. But if that's it. then that's it. What came after and was meant to either instigate an action at that point, or for me to 'change' to a member more in line with how the staff wanted VPF to be... combative. It's your (VPF staff in general, but in total as well) actions which you look on as the hardships, misunderstandings and drama in that crazy world. I'm sure of it. You had to type something else though, you just hadta "all of that shit is on you, and you alone. as it is for all of us poor fuckers, when it really comes down to it. why type 'alone', and then the rest? Makes no sense.
What is on me is a fierce effort to instill integrity into VPF. Something the staff was against, fought tooth and nail against, and clashed with your personalities. You wanted it another way. You can't blame me that you had it another way. Regardless of what you type, I was there. You should thank me for playing into VPF as you would have me do so. If on the other hand you wanted it your way and for me to like it, then I will say fuck you. But I don't believe you would expect that from me, so I will instead say your welcome, and take care.