I want to apologise if I have offended anyone with my personal beliefs, or statements.
That was not my intent.
Carry on.
I don't feel that's the case, but personally I appreciate that sentiment.
Now this might seem kinda wild, but what the hell.
My own personal journey has been kinda interesting:
- Baptised a Roman Catholic
- 'Switched sides' (via mom & grandparents) and attended a Methodist church as a kid
- Came to the conclusion that there was no evidence whatsoever for the existence of "God" by around age 9 or so
- Considered myself a strict atheist for many years afterwards
- Then, in my early-mid 20's, I watched Joseph Campbell's amazing
The Power of Myth series (btw, the word "myth" is NOT meant to mean "false" right there), and it changed my whole perspective
- Began to realise and understand that all religions and beliefs have common roots, which tended to make me much more accepting and cool with any particular belief system, and for example the simple fact that every single individual has their own personal belief system that answers their highest needs
- Came close to death a couple times, once by
serotonin syndrome, and another time by severe head-fever in S. America, where I was writhing and screaming in to my pillow in my moments of wakefulness
- The above two were kinda my personal equivalent of an 'LSD trip,' even though I've only ever had weed, not any other recreational drug
- When I had my serotonin trip in particular, I honestly felt like god was talking and moving through me for a couple weeks, there. I wasn't socializing too much at the time, so it was moreso a crazy internal dialogue going on inside my head, in which I felt the usual 'Ike's thoughts,' but now there was a NEW voice, which honest-to-heck felt like GOD's voice (seriously!)
- Now I didn't go out and do anything crazy, nor attempt to collect followers, altho I did kind of feel like that if there was any moment in my life for such, NOW was the time
- For example, I went back to the local hospital where my mom had recently passed away (and YES, that adds a certain wrinkle), thanked some people for their dedication & help (mainly nurses in the ICU), but... something was different. I felt a certain 'draw' towards me that wasn't quite the physical draw I'd had when I was young and good-looking to the extent I was, haha. It was like... people both listening to my words and wanting my attention.
- Sure, I reckon most of us dudes here have had their classic 'chick-magnetism' prime, but this was different. This was more like an aspect of being able to make up whatever nonsense I wanted, and have other people believe, due to my persuasive performance.
- Which is pretty godamn scary to me, because I don't believe we humans are meant at our core to mesmerise other people in to following a single person and doing their will. That kind of thing is frankly pretty disgusting and abusive to me.
- Indeed, from
all of what I've read upon anthropology and human history, we are tribal-social creatures who got where we did because our highest priority was to cooperate and help each other survive the various threats to our existence
Eh... haha, sorry for the notes-turned-essay.
I guess if I have a point here, it's that it's good to understand who we are, where we came from, and what our needs are. I also think it's good to think of god, religion, faith, belief, ritual, and spiritualism as part of our common human experience that helps us deal with our basic fears, keep our sanity, and retain a certain relationship with the universe, best-case scenario.